Asking for a friend: Why can’t short men find side chicks?
Dear BMW,
At the bar a few Fridays ago, a good friend of mine was left embarrassed after one of the girls we were drinking with dropped a bombshell that she can’t date a short man.
My friend is a metre tall and we all call him Mr Half Pint.
The girl in her twenties said Mr Half Pint and his likes is not her cup of tea and swore over her grandmothers’ grave that she wouldn’t date let alone marry a man shorter than her.
To her, short men are like babies, and she wouldn’t want to sleep with a baby! We were mortified at the same time we were angry with her remarks. In fact, my friend left the drinking joint very disappointed.
When we met later, my friend confessed that although he was offended with the girl’s remarks, she is not the only one who has turned his proposals down because he is short.
He confessed, tearfully, that he has been finding it difficult to get a serious girlfriend, apart from the ‘thigh vendors’ he usually picks at night to take off steam.
Big Man Wamkulu, why do short people find it so hard to get sidechicks? Will this friend of mine ever find an MG2?
Second Citizen, KJ, Blantyre
Dear Second Citizen,
For any man, approaching a woman with the intent of initiating a romantic relationship is nerve-wracking. What more when you are shorter than her. Nothing causes dating apprehensiveness in men quite like being short both in height and in the pocket!
Most aspects in a man’s dating life can be worked on and improved on. A man’s height, sadly, is something he is stuck with. Unfortunately, most women are unreasonably hang up on height when it comes to selecting a partner, and use it to gauge their attraction to a man.
Taller men (look who is talking) are deemed more dominant and assertive, traits that are desirable in a man. However, that does not mean that short men are doomed to a sexless life because, as they say, good things come in small packages. You just need to impress a woman with your strengths like hustling hard and having tonnes and tonnes of money!
I can tell you that celebrities like Daniel Radcliffe and Bruno Mars are always included in those ‘world hottest’ lists, yet they both stand at a mere 5 feet 5 inches. This is because they look good physically but also they have tonnes and tonnes of money.
If you are short, sorry to say, you are at a disadvantage. You will need to put in a lot of work in your physical looks to make up for your lack of height. Lose those extra pounds, pack on some muscle to build an athletic physique, dress sharply and always be impeccably groomed.
But most importantly, women will be more willing to look past the height if you have a reputation of being good bed, yes you need to be good at rocking boat, and if you dish out cash as if you are the Franklin Benjamin himself.
All I am saying is if you are short and finding hard to get a hot baeb, hustle hard, make lots of money and viola, women will flock to you to be called by your name.
Muuze nzanuyo kuti being broke won’t land him a woman.
Big Man Wamkulu
